When I was asked to write my LGBTQ+ story to be honest, I was a little stumped, more so slightly intimidated. For me, it seems strange to tell my story, as I don’t think it’s very remarkable.
I guess the one thing I feel I can do with my privilege is ensure that opportunities are equitable for the LGBTQ+ community and working environment is welcoming. The best way I feel I can do that is to be visible and try and instil positive change.
The biggest hurdle for me was not having role models or even an awareness of the queer community growing up. It wasn’t really until I was in my early 20s after graduating, with more representation of relatable queer people in the media and having met a wider demographic of society at university than the sleepy rural villages of my childhood, that I really acknowledged my sexuality.
Back in 2014, I not only started my first graduate site role in geotechnical engineering but also reached a place of self assurance with my sexuality and started dating women – specifically, my now partner. I reached the point of feeling I needed to come out to my colleagues, but I had no reference as to what that might be like, how to navigate this in a professional environment and one where, at times, I already felt quite isolated.
Working as a graduate for a contracting firm in the ground engineering sector meant I was pretty much on a new site each week, sometimes with colleagues, mostly with subcontractors and agency staff, and regularly on general construction sites. I’d already had to navigate and be resilient to a fair amount of sexism. I felt as if as a young female in a predominantly male dominated environment, to be seen and respected professionally, and avoid sexism, the last thing that seemed a good idea was to exacerbate the difference by opening up about being queer and draw attention to me sexuality, which, as a lesbian, has a tendency to embolden some men to sexualise women.
Fortunately, after some googling, I came across InterEngineering, and in early 2016 decided to attend one of their networking events. This allowed me to meet other LGBTQ+ engineers, and feel a sense of community. It was really valuable to hear I wasn’t alone in my experiences, but also hear from people who were out at work in engineering and adjacent fields and had had positive experiences and how they had also navigated more challenging ones.
I also realised very early on in my journey of being out at work, many times by being open about my sexuality it gave people the opportunity to speak to a member of the LGBTQIA+ community when they’d not knowingly done so before. This ability to connect with people, to humanize us, so we’re more than just labels and reach beyond perceptions or stereotypes was important. Of course, not all interactions were perfect and a few misguided questions did arise. I am still always mindful who I share my identify with, which again is a position of privilege many members of the LGBTQIA+ do not have.
There has to be a moment to acknowledge progress is still to be made. I’d like to say it was all back in my own graduate days some 10yrs ago, these occurrences happened and that things have improved but sadly I’m still supporting people recently who have had similar experiences. Women, especially early in their career, and especially in site based roles, experience high levels of sexual harassment. Potentially, I would have also experienced homophobia, but often once realising people held bigoted views I would not risk outing myself.
However, sharing who I am and raising awareness of the LGBTQIA+ community in the workplace is also, I think, an effective way of reaching a much wider audience than those who may read specific LGBT+ focused news articles or wider media. This also helps parents navigate conversations and have increased awareness enabling them to support their children, should they have grown up under Section 28 and hence gave been deprived of ability to learn whilst in education. 10 years ago, the UK seemed optimistic place to be out and proud, with positive prospect of equal rights for the LGBTQIA+ community. It wasn’t perfect, but we seemed to be heading in the right direction, I’m not sure I’d be as confident to come out given the political and societal context today. Same sex marriage had recently become law, in England, Scotland and Wales. In ILGA-Europe’s 2015 review of LGBTI rights, the UK received the highest score in Europe, with 86% progress toward “respect of human rights and full equality” for LGBT people and 92% in Scotland alone. By 2023, the UK had fallen to 17th place. When we look globally, we can see how easily hard won rights can be revoked. Sometimes even just reading the news is heart-breaking.
This is another reason I try and be visible, bringing our existence into people’s lives means it’s harder for them to distance themselves from caring about our rights. I find it is still a challenge sometimes for me though, to balance being introverted and private in nature, with being an advocate and visible role model. Also, to navigate talking about sexual orientation in an engineering firm when the typical primary focus is engineering excellence isn’t always easy, to avoid being identified as solely a good people person and presumed at times not to want the technical challenge has been something to navigate. I support EDI in the workplace not simply because it’s something I enjoy, but to me it’s a necessity.
Finding motivation in that, if just one person feels a little more comfortable and reassured at being out in the workplace, or can see it’s possible to succeed as a queer woman in construction/engineering, then it’s worth it.
